I Wanna Quit

I blinked and January was over.  I kept meaning to do a January post with my word for the year or my goals.  It just didn’t happen.  Lord, I need some want-to (the spiritual motivation to make lasting changes).

February is traditionally the month where most folks quit their New Year’s Resolutions.  Well divas, it is February and I want to quit EVERYTHING.

I want to raise my white flag, declare a TKO, stick a fork in me and I am done, forfeit the game, say I did but really don’t, pull the covers over my head and roll over in the bed….

I just feel like quitting.  Not a morbid kind of quit where I need an intervention from an on call suicide team, but a regular ol’ quit.

I quit

You know the “release from all the things clamoring at me to be done” kind of quit.

The kind of quit that makes me no longer responsible.

The kind of quit where I take off my “the-strong-one-who-holds-it-all-together” name tag and all my knick-knacks have been packed up in a box.  Then…I get escorted out by security kind of quit.

Have you ever wanted to quit?

If you didn’t quit, what kept you going?

I bet it wasn’t someone telling you “everything is gonna be ok”.

Well, maybe it was for you.

“Everything is gonna be ok” just doesn’t work for me. If anything, it just makes me frustrated. It minimizes how I feel and …how can you be so sure—everything is going to be ok? What is OK anyway?

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Wanna know the truth?  I can’t quit. I can daydream about how great being a bird and flying away would feel but as a responsible mommy/wife/business owner/employee…quitting is not in the equation.

A couple of weeks ago, I read a devotional that used Psalm 40:1-3 as the focal scripture. It provided me with an answer of what to do when quitting is not an option:

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God…

Now before y’all stop reading ‘cause you think I am going to go all Holy Roller on you, please know….as I read this scripture, my eyes ROLLED so far back in my head they almost got stuck!

As my eyes unrolled, I folded my arms and huffed: “Why, do you always have to wait”?  I want resolution NOW! I want to feel better NOW.

My daughters and I watched the Gabby Douglas story this weekend.  If you haven’t seen it…. you should.  It was so inspiring!  I never knew Gabby considered quitting.  In the movie, her coach said something that really resonated with me:  “You can quit and the way you feel right now will be nothing in comparison to the way you will feel sitting on the couch watching someone else win your medal“.

Many “feel-good right now” decisions have painful long-term consequences. (Lysa Terkeurst)

So the journey begins.

Stay tuned….

Comments

  1. You kept it real with this post. I hope it not only inspires others, but yourself as well, not to quit.

  2. Thank you Katina.. I remember you use to say “I wanna be a bird and fly away” and I feel like that right now, but thank you for this post it came at the right time

  3. Tracey D. Meredith says:

    This was very inspirational Katina. Theresa told me about your Blog today and I’m glad that she did.

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